Glossing Over The Facts – I don’t want to be a P in the A!

Glossing Over The Facts – I don’t want to be a P in the A! was Originally Posted on August 25, 2011 by lavarock

I will gloss over the facts, and you will be glad I did.

My doctor sent me a test for blood in the stool. The result was positive which doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad, just that they want to investigate further. So Kaiser sent me to Oahu for a colonoscopy. I was to have the procedure on Tuesday at 8:30am so lets back track.

Careful readers will know that I arrived back on island Thursday. I zoomed back to town Friday tto the Kaiser pharmacy, only to discover that Friday was a state holiday (something about Hawaii celebrating being admitted as the 50th state). Since the item could not easily be transferred to another pharmacy in time, I made another trip up to town on Saturday.

The item to pick up is a big jug with some powder and a lemon flavor pack. This is drunk to clean out your system. The jug is filled with water at home and agitated to create 4 liters of liquid. I went on a liquid diet beginning Sunday at 3pm. Then until Monday 5pm I can only have broth, soda, water, jello and anything clear and not red. That means no juice pulp, etc. The at 5pm Monday I start drinking the liquid 8 oz at a time. It is a slightly salty drink with some bicarbonate of soda taste. I opted not to use the lemon flavoring.

On Monday I had taken the dogs up to my friends home and kennel and I stayed there until I had to leave for the airport. That way I only had a short drive to the airport.

Although they said that the solution should start to work in an hour, I found that I had drunk 2 liters of the stuff before I started getting results. Suffice it to say that I was getting quite full until then!

For the next many hours I spent sitting in the restroom. I would only get about 20 seconds notice that I had to go again, so venture far, I did not.

I slept lightly and rose at 4:30 to take a shower and get ready. At 5:00am I headed to the airport to meet a friend who was going with me. We hopped on the 6:15 flight and headed to Oahu. I had to pass on coffee or juice because I was not to take any liquids after I started the solution the night before. They allow a bit of water but not within hours before the operation. One woman ended up having coffee and had to reschedule her procedure for later in the day. They don’t want any fluids in the stomach when they give you an anesthesia.

Just before I went into the disrobe, I heard about the east coast earthquake. I quickly sent a facebook message and headed to the back of the hospital for my “Meeting with Destiny!” (Sorry, I have been listening to old radio shows all day and that is the kind of sayings they use).

After a weigh-in and a few questions, I was led to a room and disrobed, put on the “slit up the back” fashion wear and laid down. They would let me keep my socks on, however my feet got too warm so off they came. I have to admit, the gown and blanket had been pre-warmed for me! WOW! I felt like I had just checked into a swanky hotel where they would cater to my every whim (as long as that whim included sticking a hose up my butt…) Sorry, got carried away

I was given a light anesthesia and I saw the drop or two of liquid start to come down the IV tube but remember nothing else. There was no countdown or feeling woozy, just zap and I’m out. I don’t know how the twilight thing was supposed to work, because I woke up an hour later in recovery. A few minutes later I was offered water of juice. I had enough of water things and opted for the juice. I felt fine and had no headache, tiredness or upset stomach. There was just that missing hour of wakefulness. I don’t know what they used because I was unable to see the bottle before hand.

The doctor said he found nothing and that I probably wanted to eat lightly the next day or so until I could see how my stomach would handle food.

I net my friend and we flew back to Kona. I was feeling fine and he said my reflexes seemed good so I drove the short distance to the Pine Tree Cafe. I had a very light meal, testing my stomach. Let’s see, chicken stir fry, two scoops of brown rice, a side salad with ranch dressing and a big Coke. Yup, my stomach tested just fine, thank you When done I actually considered dessert, but opted to head over to pick up the dogs and head home.

I have been eating as if there were no tomorrow because my stomach and tract have been completely empty for some time.

I was happy that I had no pain at all and the only discomfort was having to drink that stuff and then get it back out of my system.

This was my first and perhaps only time I may have to go though this, however everyone should be tested and if need be, have a followup. Rectal cancer is very preventable.

Nuff said! I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog, already in progress.