Are You Confused Yet?

Are You Confused Yet? was Originally Posted on September 10, 2003 by lavarock

I am moving near the town of Kailua, but because there is a Kailua on Oahu, they call this town Kailua-Kona to avoid confusion. To futher avoid confusion, we just call it Kona.

Speaking of confusion, you will hear people say they are going to “Hawaii” and they come back telling tales of traffic jams and the like. Well, there is somewhat of a misunderstanding many people have about the state and the islands. Let me [i]try[/i] to explain.

Hawaii is the 50th of the United States. It did not come willingly (but that is another story for another time, and I am not the best person to try to explain it all). The state of Hawaii is NOT just one island, but rather consists of something like 132 islands and atolls stretching across 1600 miles of the Pacific Ocean! The islands most familiar to visitors are Oahu, Molokai, Lanai, Hawaii, Kauai, Niihau and Maui.

Most visitors travelling to the state arrive at Honolulu (the capitol of the state) on the island of Oahu. Also well known on the island is Pearl Harbor, Waikiki Beach and Diamond Head.

A neighbor island to Oahu is actually called “Hawaii” and is the one with the active volcano. It is also known as the county of Hawaii. Most islands are their own county. Because of the size of the island and to avoid confusion, people call this island called Hawaii by the name “the Big Island”. You may be familiar with a few of the well known places on this big island, the Kona side (Kailua-Kona) where the Kona Coffee grows. The other side has the town of Hilo with waterfalls and orchids. Many of the Hawaiian macadamia nuts you eat come from this island. There is the active volcano and Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea on this island.

So people who say they are going to “Hawaii”, may mean they are going to the state, the county or the island, not necessarily all the same place. It really depends on where they are at the time, I guess.

If you are on the mainland, going to Hawaii probably means they are going to the STATE of Hawaii and may be anyone’s guess as to which island they will end up on.

If you are already within the state of Hawaii, saying you are going to “Hawaii” probably means that you are going to the “Big Island”, although it would be better to just say you are going to the big island.

If someone says they are going to Kailua, it MAY mean they are going to Oahu or the Big Island, but you can bet that if they are on the mainland and say they are going to Kailua, they will be going to Hawaii, you just don’t know which Hawaii they mean!

If they narrow it down and say they are going to Kona, they probably mean the town Kailua-Kona on the big island of Hawaii. But did I mention that “kona” also means “leeward” which means “on or toward the side to which the wind is blowing”, so every island kinda has a kona (leeward) side…

Out in the middle of nowhere, and you could classify the middle of the Paciic as nowhere, the directions of “north” and “south” just don’t have much meaning. These island have a few things in common, a mountain and an ocean, thus from anywhere on most islands you can see the mountain or ocean. Thus if you say “mauka” you are talking about going towards the mountain, or “makai” being towards the sea. On some islands, a common landmark tells you which direction [i]around[/i] the island to go. On Oahu, “Diamond Head” means to go towards the big crater which is almost always visable, or Ewa (which means towards the town of Ewa) which is away from Diamond Head.

On Maui, “Hana” is a town and a popular drive is to take the “Road to Hana”. To avoid confusion, do NOT confuse this trip with the Crosby/Hope movies which were called “The Road to Zanzibar” and the like. “Hana” means “work”, so the road to Hana, might refer to heading to work. However, to avoid confusion, I should note that “pau” means “done or complete”, so “pau hana” means done with work, which is what they say in the song “Aloha Friday”. “It’s Aloha Friday, pau hana, no work till Monday”. Of course, can living and doing things in paradise really be classified as “work”? Thus, someone maight say “I’m working down at the luau tonight”. Let’s see? Dancing, singing, eating… that’s work?

People living on one island and who leave, are said to be “off island”, as in “He is off-island at the moment, can I have him call you when he gets back?

Some visitors from the mainland are very confused because they will be heard to say “well, back in the STATES…” when they really mean “back on the mainland…”. Hawaii has been a state and although some residents would prefer they were NOT a state, they are legally a state and take offense that you don’t yet understand that. You have had 50 years to get used to the fact In the title of the TV show Hawaii-50, the 50 was not a street address, it refered to Hawaii being the 50th state. Much similar to the 49’ers being people in Alaska. I will NOT get into a discussion as to whether there really are 50 states or not (the reader may wish to read up on whether a commonwealth is really a state), because we have a number of commonwealths on the mainland.

While on the subject of Hawaii-50, ever notice where Steve McGarret’s office was? In the upper right-hand room of that old building? That “old building” was the Iolani Palace, a royal palace where the last reigning monarch of the independent country lived. That is, until she was imprisoned in that very room while her country was taken away from her (yet another story).

You may not know the name of the Queen (Queen Liliuokalani), nor how to pronounce her name, but you have heard some of her writings, as she was an accomplished musician. She wrote Aloha Oe, the beautiful song of love.

Speaking of love, it is said that if you throw a lei into the water and it comes back to shore, you will return to the islands. [b]However[/b], if you take a lava rock from the islands, you may [i]never[/i] be healthy enough to return. ’nuff said!

So now if you hear someone say “I’m going to the Kona luau on Hawaii when I’m pau hana, and I hope to hear Aloha Oe, unless there are some mauka showers that come along”, you may very well understand completely! Then again, you may not!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled BLOG, already in progress…..